Words Words Words

Of Valentines and Shyness

There’s some things I dislike about school dance weeks and Valentine’s Day. Of course, I don’t move to abolish anything — I’m not that much of a sour puss — but, at least with this particular month, I’ve been debating with myself over something. Of course, nothing will likely come of it even if, by some rare chance, I gather up the confidence to say anything in the first place. But, well, I suppose I should get on with this little (#Firstworldproblem) issue I have.

Soooo, while this is likely all cliche ‘n junk, I’ve gotten over my last crush (finally), mostly because I’ve acquired another (Luckily, one that is more of a crush, so there isn’t a -ton- of involuntary emotional investment… unlike last time). He’s a musician, plays the guitar (not sure if bass or what, exactly) and I think he’s involved with the band… if not the band, then definitely the music department as he was one of the members of the small jazz ensemble put together for the pep rally. And, unlike some other people, he’s not like… loud, attention-seeking, or anything like that and seems more… reserved, I’d say (though prolly not as much as myself, but for me it’s mostly due to just feeling nervous and uncertainty… his just seems more “I’m comfortable where I am, and prefer to be more relaxed”). Either way, he has — in some past cases — said some stuff on subjects I agree with, and isn’t a total blockhead. So, I’ve come to really like him (He’s either a Junior or a Senior, but either way he’s attractive~) and with Valentines and this Sadie’s dance coming near I’ve come to something of a dilemma.

Should I, presuming I somehow got the confidence, ask if he’s interested in guys and maybe get a chance to ask him out (while probably butchering the asking part, as I have a habit of adding alternative options — like “no” — to requests so people don’t feel obligated…), or should I… I dunno, leave it be or find a better approach? Like, I don’t think the question would really piss him off or offend him (unlike some people at my school), but I’m just not a very outgoing person and I always fear of ending up in an awkward situation… but like… the worst he could do is reject me, right?

But then I always fear that maybe I’m misjudging him, and that he might talk negatively about me behind my back if it turns out my inquiry on whether he likes men or not is taken as some sort of insult. I don’t know many people in my school, I’m a pretty shy and distant person (who should probably consult a therapist on some of that stuff…), so if that happened that would… well, it’d beyond suck for someone like me. Or, maybe, I’m overthinking it…

I dunno… but even if I came to some decision, knowing me, I’d chicken out at the last second… unless, by some strange miracle, I felt confident enough to actually say something.

(I’ve talked to him a bit before, but that was a few months ago and for the life of me I can’t remember his name… why am I terrible with names ;;)



My brain is all “On one hand it could be neutral, on the other it -could- be bad, but on the third hand it could have a really awesome outcome.” Sort of like a “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” just with me dwelling more on the latter two. .-.



/blogpostoutoftheblueaftersomuchinactivity

So, I finally got around to finishing chapter one

Of a story I’ve been working on, on the side, for a while now. While I feel the chapter is a bit rushed in places, I wanted to get past this introductory part as to start getting to other points.

It’s on fictionpress (See, here’s a link~), so huzzah.

Sleeping

Sleeping for three hours before bedtime, and drinking an energy drink, is possibly the worst thing to do before a school day.

However, it appears to be a magnificent thing to do if I want to waste my time online and think about a new story project (Entitled: Adam & Steve, and is primarily just about “Y’know, you’re human, we’re human, let’s get over our differences”)

I usually don’t talk to people on tumblr because I’m afraid I’ll annoy them.

overactivelibido:

My life’s story ;-;

(Source: inevitablefades)

Inadvertently Did Something

So, during physics I’m at a table with people I actually talk to (*gasp* right, Spink coming out of his shell?), mostly because they have nerdy interests like I do and they’re just nice people. Today I accidentally slipped out that I was gay, more like “Well I’d apply to Harvard and argue that they could use more gay-diversity” (in a joking manner). The one guy was all shocked at first (though he had been finding out a bunch of the people he liked in movies were rumored to be gay, or were, so it was kinda funny in that respect) and he was all “so wait, how gay are you?”

And I was all

So, We Have a New Teacher

And when he said “okay, now let’s get to know you,” (referring to students), I was absolutely terrified.

But time was my friend and we ran out of it before it was my turn~

Oh, man

I wrote this… thing, but I’m not going to post it. It’s… too personal, really.

But after seeing this image of Lucifer

I think I’m in love.

Books!

So I bought:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Cbhosky

annnnd

Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

Post in a self-pictures topic

get recognized from someone irl

/mylife

Man,

I’ll have to pretty up my blog sometime.

Well, good as any reason to try once more to get better with art by finding tutorials on the internet~

Reblog with your height.

obscurebside:

notvictoria:

kitaoroshi:

2ollux-2exual:

fruitgushers:

carcinogenitals:

whimsicalregulator:

stridunkass:

5’7”

also 5’7

5’6” ok

5’4

i feel small

lol you guys think youre small

im 4’9

5’2”

:/

5’1”

5’10” HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

6’2”

do I win? :D

(Source: abdcboyz)